Hosed Twice (and not the Better Team)

I’m not pretending that the Bengals were the better team on Sunday. They weren’t. And in that regard, they didn’t deserve to beat the Steelers. But geez, to get shafted on both ends like they did — first to have the comeback impeded by the touchdown that wasn’t called a touchdown, and then in their desperation drive to try to tie the game, to have a play ruled a fumble that clearly — even on replay — wasn’t a fumble, that just stinks.

I saw the whole game, and there were a few other plays that really bothered me. A.J. Green caught a pass and had been two steps out of bounds when a Steelers defender still gave him a pretty good push. That should have been a 15-yarder, or at least half the distance, since the play happened in Steelers’ territory. But gee, we won’t worry about that because Green was able to stay on his feet. (Which translates into: The Steelers got a free cheap shot and still messed it up.)

And there was a pretty obvious late hit on Dalton that didn’t get called. I’m trying to remember, but it might actually have been after he threw the pass that was the TD that wasn’t a TD. At any rate, he had clearly thrown the ball, and the defender had time to stop, but he just plowed into Dalton from the backside, really creamed him, but not gonna get that call in Pittsburgh. And now Dalton is apparently hurt. Unsure how bad. It was just too much to ask for to have the Bengals avoid a serious injury while suffering the inevitable loss in Pittsburgh. Happened last year too.

Ultimately, while the messed up calls undoubtedly screwed with the Bungs today, they are just not good defensively. Their tackling stinks, to put it candidly. Rarely does the first defender make a tackle, and often two isn’t enough. The epitome of this was a Steelers pass play. They were in 2nd-and-13, near midfield, I believe, perhaps just on the Bungs’ side of the field, and Roethlisberger throws a short pass to the outside. The receiver makes the catch near the sideline, and there are TWO defenders right there, standing almost side by side and ready to make a tackle. But no, the receiver cuts to the inside, eludes both defenders and gets a first down. That shouldn’t be possible, yet the receiver made it look easy.

Having a schedule that starts: at the Jets, at the Steelers, home against the Broncos and home against the Dolphins three days later is really bad, but it’s no excuse for the Bungs to play such bad defense. Maybe Vontaze Burfict is the answer, but even when he comes back from his three-game suspension, he is a marked man.

I’m not sold on the Bungs’ offensive line either, but I’m willing to blame that on the tough schedule. Maybe I’m a fool in that regard.


Pete Rose, the ‘Hit Queen’

There was a time when I dearly worshiped Pete Rose. Best to get that disclaimer out of the way from the start. I came of baseball age as the Big Red Machine was moving down the assembly line, adding pieces here and there.

With every black mark against Rose’s character since the gambling scandal — his dealings with his family members, and going to jail for filing false tax returns, part of a plea arrangement that let him avoid more serious tax charges — I felt a little more of my childlike devotion chipped away.

What doesn’t change, and what won’t change, is what Rose did on the field. And it bothers me a little — perhaps more than it should — that Ichiro Suzuki has been crowned in some quarters as the new ‘hit king.’ As of this writing, Ichiro has 4,258 hits, of which 2,980 have come in the U.S. big leagues. That leaves 1,278 from his nine seasons in Japan.

And that’s exactly the problem. It’s hard enough to compare different eras — and ERAs — within Major League Baseball. Now we’re supposed to believe that the U.S. and Japan are on equal footing?

It begs a few questions. My favorite: Why, if Ichiro was merely switching from one “big league” to another, was he eligible for the Rookie of the Year award in the U.S.? He arrived on American soil in 2001 in a big way: 242 hits, a .350 batting average, 56 stolen bases, the league leaders all. He won a close vote for Most Valuable Player, edging Jason Giambi (38 home runs, 120 RBIs) by 8 points.

The Rookie of the Year voting wasn’t close at all. Ichiro nearly doubled the point total — after nearly tripling the WAR rating — of second-place C.C. Sabathia. So Ichiro is a rookie. Got it.

Except, depending on who you listen to, the level of play of Nippon Professional Baseball, the top league in Japan is perhaps the caliber of AAA here. Or maybe AAAA, that level at which players bring AAA competition to its knees, then have little to no success in the majors. If you’re old enough, think Paul Householder. If that predates you, think of some of the pitchers the Reds have recalled from Louisville, where they received rave reviews, and then returned to the big club just in time to get hit around a little more.

And, in fairness, there are people who believe Japan and U.S. big league baseball are on par. Bleacher Report cited these examples.

Former Kansas City Royals manager Trey Hillman did an interview with ESPN.com a few years back regarding his years as a manager in Japan in which he insisted that what they play in NPB is “major league-caliber baseball.”

There’s also a statistical argument for the notion that NPB is on par with MLB. Clay Davenport of Baseball Prospectus crunched the numbers back in 2002 and concluded, “By historical standards, the present-day Central and Pacific Leagues are fully deserving of the ‘major league’ label.”

 But it’s hard for me to look beyond the 4-A argument. Tuffy Rhodes, enter and sign in, please. Have you heard of Tuffy Rhodes? Prior to two days ago, my only recollection of Rhodes was my sports editor at the time drafting Rhodes in our office home run derby pool because the outfielder hit three home runs on Opening Day. Yeah, we were scrambling to get the drafting done and were still picking players on Opening Day. Count that as one deadline blown.

Before that 1994 season, Rhodes had hit eight home runs in 311 plate appearances. And Rhodes finished that ’94 season with exactly eight, in 308 plate appearances. Consistency, thy name is Tuffy, as Vin Scully might say.

Rhodes fell on such hard times in that 1994 season that he played only 95 games for the Cubs. And the next year, he played a combined 23 games with the Cubs and Red Sox, and in 45 plate appearances, the Confines weren’t so friendly, and the Green Monster wasn’t close enough. He went homerless.

But Rhodes went to Japan and found it wasn’t so tuff over there. In 13 seasons, spanning three teams, he hit 464 home runs, an average of 36 per season, thank you very much. He hit at least 40 homers seven times, and maxed out at 55 in 2001. In 2008, at age 39, he still hit 40.

If Tuffy Rhodes goes back too far, do you remember Wladimir Balentien? The name sounded familiar when it came up in reference to Japanese baseball. Balentien played parts of the three seasons in the majors, mostly for Seattle, and then a little for the Reds in 2009. Between those franchises, he hit 15 home runs in 559 plate appearances.

Balentien didn’t make the show for the Reds in 2010, but did play 116 games for Louisville, and in 452 plate appearances, he hit 25 homers.

The outfielder then began an exceedingly long road trip, heading to Japan in 2011. He has played for Yakult since 2011, and in his first four seasons there, he hit 31, 31, 60 and 31 again. He hit only one in 52 plate appearances last season, but has 15 in 264 plate appearances this season.

Several days ago, Rose gave his own opinion about Ichiro’s milestone.

“It sounds like in Japan they’re trying to make me the Hit Queen. I’m not trying to take anything away from Ichiro, he’s had a Hall of Fame career, but the next thing you know, they’ll be counting his high school hits.”

And I wince a little more. Not because I disagree with Rose’s basic premise. I just don’t need him to be deciding what other people should think.

Although I guess I understand if Rose has gender references on his mind. Mickey Mantle once said of Rose: “If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete, I’d wear a dress.”

In short order, Ichiro is going to rack up his 3,000th hit in the U.S. That alone speaks to his accomplishments.

But I’ll pass on decreeing Ichiro as the  “hit king.” After all, the “home run king” in the U.S. is Barry Bonds, who hit  762.

What’s that? You refuse to recognize Bonds because of what got into him starting in the late ’90s? Then certainly you’re a Henry Aaron man. He hammered 755.

Whichever you choose, remember that Sadaharu Oh hit 868 home runs in 22 seasons in the land of Tuffy and Wladimir. I’m keeping my kings a little closer to the vest.


‘Goodbye to a friend’

It’s time to bid a fond farewell to somebody I never met. He’s been gone for a few weeks, but a combination of not having the time, not knowing what to say, and doubting that I knew him well enough to say anything have kept me quiet until now.

Jambio_jgarner_highres_articlees Garner died July 19, and I had a few people tell me the first person they thought about when they heard of his death was me. Not surprising. I own “The Rockford Files” collection on DVD, and have watched all of the episodes a few times now. Even when flipping the channels, if I come across “Rockford,” I’m hard-pressed to keep on channel surfing.

I haven’t seen much of the old “Maverick” TV series, though I get the idea that Bret Maverick had a lot in common with Jim Rockford. Take care of business and avoid the rough stuff — a different type of hero, as one remembrance called Rockford. Works for me. For every man who would love to be the rough-and-tumble master of his own destiny, few of us can be so bold.

I enjoyed “Rockford” when it was on the 1970s, but I don’t think I had the appreciation for it until I saw it pretty often while visiting my mother in the late ’90s. I thought then that the show came across as authentic, save for the fact that so many of the escapades ended up with beatings and gunfire.

Jim Rockford’s existence would have been made possible by the countless dull and tedious tasks that a private investigator might have to perform.  The more unusual cases, yes, they might be interesting enough for an audience.

Garner received two Purple Hearts for his service in the Korean War, and I hope he forgives me for chuckling at the thought of one of his wounds coming when he was shot in the behind while trying to jump into a foxhole. Classic.

One thing I didn’t learn until after his death was that the smell of garlic, which Garner detested — led him to alert his superiors of the presence of enemy forces in Korea. He disliked garlic so much, was so sensitive to its presence, that he caught some whiffs of it while on guard duty and passed the information along.

This excerpt is from “The Garner Files,” his 2011 memoir:

[A]rmy chow was bearable as long as I could keep the onions and garlic out of it. I cannot stand onions and I’m very sensitive to garlic. I can taste tiny amounts of it, like when they’ve cooked another dish with garlic before and don’t wash the pan. If I get even a hint of it, I might throw up in my plate. This violent aversion may have saved my life: like our South Korean allies, the Chinese and North Korean troops lived on a diet of fish heads, rice, and garlic. One night while on guard on the line, I caught a faint whiff of it coming from the direction of the enemy positions. I couldn’t see anything, but I knew there was someone out there and they were coming closer. Once I sniffed them I could hear them, too. It turned out to be a patrol heading straight for our position. They were just the other side of a rise when I passed the word down the line. We were ready for them and stopped them in their tracks.

My interest in Garner carried over to movies, though I wasn’t surprised that I enjoyed him more on TV roles. He could be every bit the leading man, but he was a little bit too much like the rest of us, I think. Still, I’ve enjoyed his work in pictures.

Before he was James Rockford, he was The Scrounger, a prisoner of war in the film “The Great Escape,” whose role in planning a large-scale escape from a POW camp was to scrape up items that would be needed to make documents to aid the prisoners when they fled the camp. He picked the pocket of a German officer, and after giving the resident forger a good look at the papers the wallet contained, gave it back to the soldier — for a price. Anybody have a problem thinking of Rockford using that guile to survive?

As I have looked at Garner’s film credits, over the years and again on his passing, I’m eager to see more of his work. I can’t recall seeing a bad James Garner movie. Am I blinded by some sense of loyalty to the man, maybe because there is a connection to my mother, who died in 2004? Maybe.

But I think of any number of movies — “Victor/Victoria,” “Cash McCall,” “Murphy’s Romance,” “Support Your Local Sheriff,” “Move Over Darling,” “Skin Game,” … OK, enough already — and I don’t remember disliking any of them. Different roles, certainly. But it tells me that Garner was judicious in the roles he chose, a pattern that I wish more of today’s stars would embrace.

For the record, one of my favorite Garner movies was a made-for-TV film in 1984, “Heartsounds,” about a doctor who suffers a heart attack and gets a frightening view of what happens when doctors don’t put the patient first. Mary Tyler Moore co-stars as a journalist. Gee, another connection.

Garner further succeeded where other celebrities fail — or don’t try to go: He seemed to keep his private life away from us. I can recall his penchant for the Oakland Raiders — or were they the L.A. Raiders at that point? — but I’ll chalk that up to nobody being perfect.

He was obviously a fighter and didn’t mind settling some old scores now and then, and I don’t mean with his fists. In fact, one of his stated reasons for writing “The Garner Files” was to set the record straight on a number of issues, personal and business.When Garner was being cheated out of money owed over syndication rights from “The Rockford Files,” he was determined to get justice, and he did. In court.

As a result, I say goodbye forever curious about the kind of man Garner was. Friendly, approachable under reasonable circumstances, deeply committed to his family? Jim Rockford was, by necessity, pretty good at keeping his guard up. I wonder how much Garner differed in real life.

At any rate, I enjoyed the side of James Garner that I got to know, and look forward to seeing the films of his that I haven’t seen yet.





















More on Movies

Having been let down by two of my childhood favorites, Superman (OK, the “Man of Steel”) and “The Long Ranger” — even if my childhood viewing of the original TV series was via syndication —  I was stuck for what to see a weekend or two later. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the case that my wife and I were torn between two good choices. Just the opposite. We really should have found something else to do to get us out of the house. …

Instead, we settled on something called “The Purge.” It looked like a horror flick, which will rarely (never?) get my time or money, but based on the alleged plot, and having Ethan Hawke as the star, I figured a few dollars at a discount house might be worth the gamble. Still, I’d be lying if I professed optimism as we headed to the theater.

You know what? Typo almost liked it. The premise, admittedly absurd from the get-go in terms of reality, was enough to get me to buy in. And when the storyline had run its course, it ended. Hear that, “Lone Ranger” makers?. No, “The Purge” won’t win any Oscars, not even if the Best Film nominations are enlarged from 10 to 50. But Typo gave it a 5. Tell me it’s only because my expectations for the previous movies were higher, and “Purge” was a question mark, and I guess I have to acknowledge that possibility, but I don’t think that is the case here. The film offered me something that could entertain me, and did so at a basic level. …

Confessing the obvious here, but I don’t live and die by the news of every movie that is made, so I hadn’t even heard of “The Purge” until the night we went to see it. ..

Most recently, we saw “Now You See Me.” Tell me if this sounds familiar, but I hadn’t heard of this film until the day before we went to see it, and it was also showing at a discount house, so what the heck. …

This film rather fascinated me. Again, it brought an originality of premise that didn’t have me thinking I knew what was going to happen 10 minutes before it did. It would have been pretty easy to lose me amid the magic-based plot turns, yet the film flowed nicely. Typo wavered on the rating for “Now You See Me,” but only to this extent: Was it a 5.5, maybe a 6? Typo settled on a 6, right on the borderline of a movie worth recommending to others. …

It will be interesting to see what comes along next. …

Typo on Movies

I rather enjoy going to a good movie. So if one ever comes along again, would you let me know? …..

I don’t consider myself that tough of a movie critic. When Siskel & Ebert were in their heyday, all it took was for one of those guys to like a movie. If that was the case, the chances were very good that I’d like it too. (I believe I heard it said that Siskel needed a film to be technically sound, and Ebert just needed a good show. Or maybe it was the other way around.) …

So the most recent handful of movies that I have seen are enough to send me scurrying for a good book. …

This revelation began with “Man of Steel.” I heard by word of mouth that some people liked the movie, and others didn’t. If I said that I think it should have been renamed “Man of Stealing My Money,” would that tell you how I felt about this movie? It actually started off OK, maybe the first 20 minutes to a half hour, as it looked back at the events on Krypton. Beyond that? Nada. The zipping around, midair fights, city destruction, too drawn out. All of the special effects in the world won’t cover for a plot as badly lacking as this one was……..How much did Typo hate this movie? On a scale of 1 to 10, congratulations: It avoided a 1. Yeah, 1.5. 

For context, the only movie that comes to mind that I disliked more than “Man of Steal” was “Battleship.” That movie, which some how earned its 0 rating, would have been better if it were just two people sitting at a table playing the board game that shared the movie’s name. And that was it for me and superhero movies. Enough is enough.

It took about a week to break that vow, because I was intrigued by what “The Lone Ranger” might offer. Hey, at least there wouldn’t be whooshing around outer space, right? … Would you be impressed if I told you that Typo liked “Ranger” three times as much as “Steel”? You should only be impressed that I got the math right, as Hammer/Depp rated a 4.5. I kept waiting for something to cheer for, but turning a hero into a buffoon doesn’t do much for me. Nor does drawing out the movie well beyond its barely useful life. Should have been at least 30 minutes shorter.

More on Typo at the Movies next time.